My predicament.

So... I am currently freaking out about my "mid-semester" review for my CS 460 class, much more than I was initially, after speaking with Professor Ackley after class today. I had been under the impression that he had already completed the mid semester reviews and that there was going to be additional padding of the grade after the fact... but with recent knowledge, the additional padding has already been applied to the grade... and thus, my lowest possible grade as a D+, and my highest possible grade a C+. This is really hard for me to comprehend since I usually get A's and B's, and currently have a 3.61 GPA at UNM with only my CS and Minor classes (my core classes were completed at CNM and are not included in the UNM GPA). It is even harder for me to comprehend that my projected grade is this low in a class that's grading criteria is almost entirely subjective: there was no syllabus stating how each aspect of the class would be graded besides a little fuzzy explanation on blog posts. It completely baffles me. This class, from what I can tell, is purely about experiencing a faux real world software development experience in a protected environment; anyone that has been actively attending classes and working with their group is garnering this experience, and, thus, should be passing the class with flying colors.... except, apparently not. I've attended every single lecture, I've participated in the discussion when I felt comfortable I could without getting mocked, I've attended 20+ hours of meetings with my group, and have worked more than that on the our project itself. Sure I could have done better on my project pitch, I'm not very comfortable doing those kinds of things (especially knowing that there was no way in hell people would pick my project anyways, thus it's kind of hard to pep yourself up), but I did what I could given that I didn't have front teeth (I was in the process of getting implants): it's a hell of hard time trying to motivate yourself to present when you don't have front teeth. And not only that, my grade has been impacted significantly because I didn't present well, which is a purely subjective grading criteria. The only person who should receive negative marks would be someone who did not present a pitch at all. Also, the grading criteria for the mid-semester self evaluations was also non-existent and is based subjectively; There were only some fuzzy guidelines in what to do. Essentially, everyone should receive a minimal grade of a B so long as they attended and participated in the class in it's various aspects, since everything is "graded" subjectively.

I've been struggling through this semester with a 20 hour internship, and all of my classes essentially consisting of group projects: That's a lot of time having to meet after class with different groups. I've also been struggling internally because of the aspect of actually graduating and having to enter the real world; It's damned scary. I've essentially been attending school for my entire life, and now I have to ram my head against the reality of finding a job and entering the work force; It's daunting for me.

Do I think that this blog post will affect my grade? Probably not in a positive way; but I felt that I needed to get what was on my mind out there.

Note 1: I have typically been writing my previous blog posts rather curtly, since I am more of the type of person to get to the point and avoid the fluff.

Note 2: During a client meeting with Professor Ackley, the topic of what the life of our project was going to be after the class was discussed. He asked a question about who all was going to continue working on it and I mentioned that I planned on graduating: he then made a little jibe about seeing if that happened and chuckled (this was before we received our "mid-semester" reviews). Looking back on that, I am rather offended that he would make light of something like that (since he likely knew my projected grade at the time).